Earlier today I was sitting on a flight of stairs on a side-street in Labasa, waiting for a bus. It was all I could do to hold myself together in public and not cry. A man walked by and asked me if I was lost, if I was okay.
I struggled to answer honestly.
I took out my journal and wrote over and over the only words that could seem to keep me calm:
“It is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love each other and support each other. We have nothing to lose but our chains.” – Assata Shakur
Love. Love. Love.
I challenge you (by which I mean that I am challenging myself) to love in the midst of this pain. We must love and support one another. We must.
We have nothing to lose but our chains.
I am drifting. My body is in Fiji but my heart is in the states.
I am afraid. I am not proud of my country and wish, at the same time, that I could be stateside for a protest. To demand change. To demand justice. #BlackLivesMatter My heart is with all of you in the streets tonight. Thank you for doing what you are doing. My heart is with all of you at home.
This week I feel untethered. I am doing by best to give myself permission to feel. To be thankful and enraged all at once. To have the difficult conversations with myself.
This week I am looking up. Orion is sideways. I’m on a hunt for Canopus. I’m going to learn new constellations and shout things to the sky because I can.
(The Neave Planetarium is a wonderful resource for constellation-finding based on location and time of the day: http://neave.com/planetarium/)